Meetings in Toronto

Meetings are on hiatus right now, as I complete a farm job until October. Internet stuff always available, email at or skype me at michaelthielmann if you want to chat! Facebook name Michael Thielmann.

Last satsang till October

March 12 Meeting

January 29 Meeting

Saturday Jan. 15 Meeting

November 2 Meeting

Email at for a One to One. (skype or phone).

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Why bother, or why not?

As a seeker, my life was filled with why bothers: "Why bother going to work, if there's no one to go to work? Why bother meditating, if there's no self to do it?" Everything was seen as a means to an end, and a sort of obligation or struggle. Even the pleasurable behaviours were embued with an addictive or striving quality, a necessity to try and feel better amidst suffering. The things enjoyed as a child were cast aside in order for "meaningful and important" things to be accomplished. Even when life was going well, by the mind's standards, there was a sort of low-grade desperation or yearning, a grim attempt to make things even better, or keep them stable.
Life was all about reasons, justifications, and struggling to make it. So much processing went into everything, to determine the possible outcomes for "me." Sponteneity took a back seat to a cold analytical self-seeking. Life was only really enjoyed when I was forgotten entirely, so my activities were about losing myself (on my own terms!) After being exposed to the message and seeing the investigation through to the end, life is a big why not. Like a giant play of possibilities, anything can happen. No-one needs to stand in the way of life with their petty concerns, things can happen as they will, because it's all a joyful meaningless dance of existence. Why not go to work, even though there's no one working. Why not meditate, even if there's no meditator? For a self, there's something to get out of writing this sentence. For no-one, there's just the joy of writing and reading this sentence.


  1. Hi. "After being exposed to the message and seeing the investigation through to the end"...COuld you describe this a bit more?... I have heard 50 million times but it hasn't been heard. ie investigating "who is it that is trying to get it" Charlie Hayes has been a wonderful help but i am still here trying to get it.......

  2. Sure, basically I kept looking until there was no one left to keep looking. It's as simple as that. Charlie Hayes encouraged me to keep looking, and I kept coming up with excuses not to. Just look. See where the questioner lives, and find the answer-er while you're at it. Who am I? Apply the question to the mind, and just be consistent. Just turn inwards and look, or notice. Nothing more is needed. Thanks a lot, take care.