Meetings in Toronto

Meetings are on hiatus right now, as I complete a farm job until October. Internet stuff always available, email at thielmannator@hotmail.com or skype me at michaelthielmann if you want to chat! Facebook name Michael Thielmann.

Last satsang till October

March 12 Meeting

January 29 Meeting

Saturday Jan. 15 Meeting

November 2 Meeting

Email at thielmannator@hotmail.com for a One to One. (skype or phone).

Sunday, December 12, 2010

No stone unturned.

I was advised early on in my 'career' as a seeker of truth to leave no stone of my Self unturned. This advice holds true right now, and right now. No experiences of realization have saved me from needing to clean my own house, even if there is "no-one" in that house, or indeed no house at all!

Infinity has no stopping point, but I wanted to believe myself to be on the other side of seeking- safe and beyond the world of duality.

I ignored obviously painful emotions, because 'no-one' was having them. I justified harmful actions- because after all there is 'no doer'. I failed to heed the advice to look more closely at myself- because "it has been seen that there never was anyone"


I forgot how to be a human being. This is a reminder to myself, from my Self to leave no stone unturned.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Half- Baked Buddha

My name is Mike, and I'm a half-baked Buddha. This is a term that was used by a great guy who was not afraid to tell it like it is, no holds barred.

He and others have implicitly or explicitly pointed out that I have jumped the gun on the sharing of these pointers: this turkey ain't quite done; further cooking is required.

There's a deep gut sense here to get to the bottom of myself in a conclusive and permanent way, rather than share what I still feel to be less than the Truth, the whole Truth, and nothing but the Truth (so help "me" God!).

I'm putting my group on hiatus until further notice, thanks to everyone for their support. The knowing of who I am is a job I cannot leave half done.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Don't stop till you get enough!

Keep looking, look past where you think you are. Go a little deeper, see a little clearer. Don't stop at a halfway house- a subtle concept in the mind. Throw it all out. Look afresh, right now and now. Who am I really? Isn't that just a concept? No matter how beautiful, expansive, ugly, or restrictive, you are a step behind- right Here.

Just dig deeper- you don't need another source of water. The well is right here, and all is well.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Long time no post- you didn't miss anything

I haven't updated this for a while, because the love that's always with you is all you need anyway. Pay attention to the benevolent presence that's always right HERE, and disregard these instructions.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Nonduality- Another mis-nomer

So there's really no truth in this nonduality game at all. Just another false path with false promises. The truth itself is what is very interesting. The trouble is, we can't begin to talk about it.

I was interested in nonduality, both as a seeker and a 'teacher', because I didn't recognize the truth itself. Before nonduality and all its concepts, the truth is right here, as love- aware of itself.

Behind the noise and attempts to figure things out, there's something silent yet profoundly alive. Nonduality can't give us what we're looking for, because what this actually IS is far too simple.

Notice right now, there's a sense of presence that is always so. Get to know That, and forget about what you just read!

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Love is what IS

This is love. What we're looking for is the embrace of the lover that is literally right here, being Life itself. If I'm obsessed with the content of the happenings, I miss the opportunity to stop and feel the embrace of this all encompassing love, that's never missing.

Who am I, that think there's something better, somewhere else? This must be IT, despite the claims of dead concepts. If we just look and see, we find that love just lets us BE.

Friday, April 16, 2010

Why waste time with the cliff? Might as well JUMP!

Most people don't know they're standing on a cliff over the ocean of boundless love and peace. They're busy in the forest doing their own thing. Some people have glimpsed the ocean, and are afraid to take the leap, so they go back into the forest. Some people keep glimpsing and going back- telling their friends about how great it is.

Others have become professional glimpse-ers, who set up camp at the edge of the cliff and talk about how they're in the ocean. Some are in the ocean and have forgotten about the cliff. Few see that the cliff and the ocean were always the same thing- One Love, right here.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Not a fun site- See what you ARE, and don't come back!

This site is intentionally without colour or fun interesting stuff, because what you ARE is already full of all the colour, fun, and interest you need; this post is just a reminder to see this, and get off this crap once and for all! Look and see, and let this garbage be, this is not a helpful bunch of words! What we are doesn't need to be digging around in the nondual trash can anymore, just to come Home!

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Freedom from time

The search seems to take place in time. Where's any time right now? Who am I that's in time? How long do I need, to be who I am? We seek a freedom at the end of a time span, only to seemingly stay stuck in that flow of time, seeking the next better moment.

Where's all this time right now? What's clearly present and aware, even if time seems to be happening, (in concepts only!)

Investigating directly, we find that what we are is prior to the notion of time, as clear being itself.

There's a freedom from needing time as some means to an end, because we can see directly that what we are is not subject to this notion of time at all- we simply ARE present and aware.

Monday, March 22, 2010

This is alive, real, and immediately what you ARE!

Right at the heart of what's happening, there is immediate aliveness going on.
Juicy, real, without cause or effect- what we are is consciously living and reading this word.

Simple and obvious- if we turn from the madness of the mind now, we can see this clear space that's right here. Even when the mind is going, all there is, is life being life.

It's impossible to not see this, and it's certainly impossible to not BE this. Why worry about seeking at all, if there's a peace and clarity amidst whatever seems to be happening. It's all good, especially when it isn't. For what we are, this whole post is a waste of time, and a big laugh!

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Useless update- Being is still changeless

What do you know, this presence is the same as it was the first time I posted, it's the same now, and it'll be the same if I do another useless update. My site is meant to point to this changlessness of Being what we are- and be obselete. This isn't a fun blog to follow, Being alive now is a lot more fun than reading about it.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Seeking what IS

I didn’t know I was seeking This. Just the simple seeing that I’m aware and present, right here, and things are happening. The mind suggests a time and place that’s better, and a “someone” for whom it isn’t alright now. Look, and see that just beyond the mind’s movement is simplicity itself- just Being what is. What are we really looking for? Am I seeking another time and place? What would be better there and then, and who am I right now that isn’t OK? There’s nothing wrong with what we are, we were always seeking what IS, and what is turns out to be exactly appropriate, so who is going to seek what?

Monday, March 8, 2010

Just don't sneeze- it'll cure your cold

We spend a lot of time dealing with the symptoms of this apparent seperation.
The most obvious is trying to restructure language to make it sound more advaitically correct: "this BS sentence is getting written" rather than "I am writing another BS sentence."

The key is to get down to the root of the matter- where is this seperate self right now? I attempted to employ remedies "on top" of this apparent problem of seperation, rather than dig down under it and expose it directly.

Holding back a sneeze won't cure a cold- screwing around with these pointers won't be very liberating. This needs to be looked into and seen directly.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

This is a win-win (for no-one)

All the what if's and what about's are brain farts.

There's nothing in the way of life living life.

Nothing bad happens in seeing what we are.

All my hopes and fears about this stuff are tales told by an idiot ('me").

Life wants to live itself, and it IS.

Life is a win win situation, for no-one. There is only life anyway, so big deal if "I" lose!

Sunday, February 28, 2010

Something needs to happen

All that needs to happen is the reading of this sentence. Acknowledge the aliveness that cognizes these words, and there's nothing left to look for.

Aliveness is happening, and it's all there is. There isn't a "something" that needs to happen, because No-thing is all that's happening.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

This is practical and REAL

This stuff isn't esoteric or remote. Thinking about this doesn't lead to BEING this. The stuff we're talking about is literally just the actuality of being alive right now, the ground of awareness that's living.

If we look into what's happening right here, there's a natural sense of being alive.

What else is happening besides the simple actuality of living?

If I close my eyes, how do I know I exist? If I don't refer to any thought, what is it that confirms my own aliveness? This can get really practical and direct, right here where we are. Nothing else needed, for us to Be.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Being alone IS

As a child, I often feared being alone, because I felt seperate and vulnerable and in need of something to protect me from the big, scary world. As a 'seeker' I felt lonely in myself and looked for a big strong guru or God figure to protect me from my big, scary 'self.'

I started looking into this stuff for myself, and it became obvious that there is only one thing happening, only Being. All of this apparent conflict in duality seems to be an appearance of Being itself. Direct looking shows the flakey and feeble nature of all these concepts and ideas.

There is only the exquisite aloneness of Being, and no one else to be lonely, afraid, vulnerable, or seeking. Pause a moment and see if there is anything 'other' than this obvious presence. Get comfortable being alone- it's not so lonely if you're all there is anyway.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

It's clear that I AM

Stopping right now for a moment, it's clear that I AM right here. Why not just appreciate the raw fact of our existance? Seeing this basic fact of being itself, it's clear that all else is an add on. The prime fact of experience is simply being present and aware, without the need of 'anyone' as some special, seperate entity.

If we simply appreciate the obvious and often overlooked fact of experience itself, there's no need to even look into any concepts at all. The mind seems to offer up problems and solutions, being awareness remains open and unencumbered by this activity. Why not start and stop right here, as this clear presence that can't be avoided? Simple, obvious, effortless- being what is, and what is not!

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

No escape, no prisoner

I want to escape my situation. I can't stand this, I want out. This isn't right, I need to feel better. Anything but this, please!

Desperate words, filled with anguish as we seek an end to this madness. I'm so convinced that I'm in some sort of prison, with bars made of seemingly solid language- apparently concrete ideas that hold "me" hostage.

Do I accept my imaginary sentence, or look into the nature of this cage of concepts? I wonder what this whole thing is made of anyway. Even if there is such a prison, who is aware of the notion of this inmate? How could I be confined in this cell, if I'm aware of the entire notion of trying to escape?

Is this awareness in anything? Is it an object that can be located in a physical or mental place? What is this presence in relation to the imprisoned "seeker?" Who am I in this whole picture, if not the awareness itself?

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Do 'you' believe in 'God?'

As noble seekers, we become very complex creatures. I recall one time where someone asked me if I believed in God. I gave what I felt to be a nondually correct, long-winded answer that left both of us rather confused.

The notion of a seperate higher being is the cornerstone of many traditions, and can be looked into and seen for what it is. To ask someone if they believe in God makes as much sense as asking an oak tree if it believes in the earth. When we take ourselves to be a seperate, alone, and terrifed entity, it makes sense to conjure up a big important God to make us feel better.

The irony is, that I never felt I was with God, as long as it was "me and God." If we see the true nature of what is, right now, we can call that God if we like. It's no-thing the mind can deal with, pure aloneness without the loneliness.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

What else but love?

I always had a sense as a seeker that love was lacking. I wasn't loving enough, and I didn't feel that others were loving me enough. I sought to compensate for this lack of love, and tried to find it through a process and obtain it in the world.

It's a lot easier to see that the nature of what is, is love beyond opposite. This can't be believed in, and it can't be denied. In looking and feeling into the presence that's here, it's obvious that this is the love of being itself- the homeless home that can't be left. The lover is all that is- including the seeker that thinks it's seperate from it. Who needs love from whom? Nothing is withheld- this energy is abundance itself, in the midst of an imagined life, full of lack.

See this here, falling in love is all there is.

Friday, February 5, 2010

Just look and see, who is this "me"?

Just look and see, who am I now, and what is this seperate "me?"

The mind kicks in with 'yeah but's' and whatever else, but just look and see.

Always an excuse, let me off the hook, I'll check on this stuff later.

Yes, but look and see- who am I right now, amidst all the resistance?

Too much, too fast, can't handle the truth , give me some cushioning first!

Alright, and who, who, who is seperate from the truth in the first place?

How good have I been at making my life work, might as well get down to the wire and look. What's really here, and what pretends to really be here? See what the always so-ness that is, and the rest is seen as comings and goings.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Fully seeking, but only half alive.

As a seeker, it felt like I was pretty much upright and dead a lot of the time. And if not that, then I was looking for bursts of pleasure from the outside, including pleasure derived from spiritual activities.

I was fully interested in the seeking game, because I was quite sure there was something on offer, at the end of a process. What I didn't pay attention to was the aliveness of presence that is here and now, fully awake and prior to seeking.

It's all a matter of perspective and emphasis. I put a lot of stock in 'my' thoughts, because it seemed like there was happiness to be found at the end of my imaginary road.

What's here now- this being of aliveness- isn't seeking anything, because it's already everything. Who am I in relation to That? There is no relation- only That I Am.

Monday, February 1, 2010

This isn't inevitable, This IS

During the apparent search, I comforted my 'self' with notions that liberation is inevitable, if I don't get it now I'll get it when the body drops, or an act of grace will liberate me 'soon'.

Of course, all these ideas presume that this isn't it, that there's something else to be seen, done, acquired, or lost. I began to look deeply at my present experience, the isness of being here, right now. What I found was that reality is actually full, and in no need of the imaginary things I imposed on it mentally.

Starting from the reality of Being itself, the search is undercut here and now. Being is all inclusive, and doesn't need extra embellishments. Here it is, here we are- timelessly, without need of improvement or tinkering. This really IS it, whatever it may be.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

An inconvenient truth (Al Gore was right!)

What the truth actually is (what we actually ARE) isn't going to cater to our imaginary needs, wants, and requirements. What this IS, is completely inconvenient to the seeker. It completely undermines the whole notion of seeking- and indeed the whole notion of a seperate self altogether. Any question makes no sense in the face of this Beingness- for it is timelessly whole and unquestioningly present right now- with no need of embellishment or addition.

My wanting to feel better isn't going to be satiated by what the truth actually is, simply because the truth is all encompassing, and so isn't limited by my petty and arbitrary division of feeling states. This is it- however it shows up.

My desire to understand isn't met with understanding- it's rendered null and void by the timeless and present radiance that blasts the mind's inquiry to pieces, and yet includes all mental activity.

We have to see this as it is, not as we would have it.

See who you are, and go have fun!

We might as well just see who we are right now. Who wants to spend another moment looking at my bleak, drab, colourless and downright hopeless content? See clearly that you are this awareness, and you can stop poking around with all this stuff (unless you're having fun doing it!)

If there's an earnestness to see and live as you really are, then nothing can stop you. Look now and it's clear, you can forget about this silly website, and even this pointless sentence.

You're right here, before the space between these two words. Just rest, you've looked long and hard enough. Have some fun, it's about time(lessness)

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

How do I know, that I know? (And who am I that knows it?)

As seekers, we live like a self-referring loop in a computer. We confirm our knowledge by more of the same knowledge, concepts reinforce previously learned concepts. The core learned concept is that of "I'm me". I know that I'm me, so now I know this that and the other about myself, which reinforces the fact that I'm me.

We live as this loop, and don't notice the space in which it happens, right here.

Since all of this is learned, it isn't absolutely real, or who we really are. See that the presence that you are is always the case, before, doing and after this loop.

Who am I that knows? The knowing of being is solid and real- all else is the changing of seasons.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

What's missing here?

You're not missing out. This is actually the party, and it's always at your place. You are the place of the party, and the only guest in attendance. There's no need for a better venue, or to get into some VIP room- this is as good as it gets, and as good as it needs to get. The bad news- this sentence is actually all there is. The good news, this sentence is actually all there is. No hope for a better future, and no need to fear what comes next. You're not missing- what's looking out these eyes lacks nothing. Stop and see- you've never been absent.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

No investment, no refund

Sometimes I look back on what I've written (or even the title of the site) and I think this whole thing sounds really harsh and bleak. This is true for the 'seeker' but The reality that we ARE is peace, joy, and unconditional love that can't be contained. What we're attempting to do is point to the futility of the seeking, and the reality of Being. Seeking is all about putting in hard work now, for a big future payoff. If our seeking doesn't work (which it never has and never will) then we expect some refund or return on the time, energy, and money we've spent on the search.

Why not just stop investing in pipe dreams now, and notice the clarity of being fully present, here and now? Nothing gained, nothing lost- loving what is! We don't need to play the game, and we won't win or lose if we keep playing. What we are stands here, in the clear, beyond our fear.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

"How to"- a fool's errand.

When any pointer is given, the mind essentially wants to say 'how do I use this to get something?' If we see this mechanism in action, it's obvious that we are outside of it, so to speak. Questions of how-ing or whatever appear and disappear. See the foolish mind as it tries in vain, and see that you are the context for this apparition. How to be what you are? No one's words or practices are needed.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Spirituality isn't about popularity

When I was first introduced to the idea of spirituality, I basically used it to make myself special. I wanted to have the upper hand in social situations, and feel good about myself by towering above the "normies" who weren't interested in my superior concepts.

As I've come to see it now, spirituality is really about one thing only: knowing who we are, and who we are NOT. That's why this sort of message isn't popular, it doesn't leave any room to be a special, spiritualized person. It undercuts the whole personal notion altogether, and leaves us as we are- present, aware, and inseperable from what IS.

What we are isn't even interested in teachings or spiritual paths or process- it's whole and complete right now, self shining and obvious.

We won't become popular people- and it doesn't matter anyway. Recognizing the radiance and problem-free nature that we are is enough- for No-One!

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Shut up and look

To my credit, my first teacher Charlie Hayes essentially gave me the pointer of "shut up, and look." I interpreted this to be both an 'inner' and 'outer' phenomenon. Rather than endlessly think about myself and how my seeking and suffering were so overwhelming, just pause and see what's really going on.

Instead of talking to others about how "I" am getting it, and almost there, but need this one more thing, just stop talking and listen to something that resonates.

This is simple stuff, if we don't bring our own preconceptions to the table. I was good at talking about this stuff, but wondered why there was still "something wrong."

I shut up, and had a good look. Good luck, or grace does the rest.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Repetition

Sometimes, it seems, things call for some repetition. Part of our human programming seems to suggest that we need to be exposed to things repeatedly before they "sink in" so to speak. I can only speak from my own experience, and it seemed like I needed to really open myself up to these pointers, and make a firm commitment to see this whole thing through to the end. Too often I would trick myself into believing I had arrived at some conclusive mental platform, only to find the experience of "something wrong" kicking in once again. Repeatedly exposing myself to the direct investigation as well as potent and competent pointers seemed to deconstruct the mind's artificial self obsession with "me".

Of course, the main thing to see is that what we are is changeless and inherently free regardless of all this apparent seeking, and attempts to end it. If there's an interest in ending the search, the key thing is seeing that what you really are, isn't actually seeking anything. All these pointers are essentially needless, because the presence-awareness is self evident anyways.