For years, I sought something called enlightenment or self realization. Then I learned that there was no such thing as a person to attain such a thing. I then started seeking the end of the person I took myself to be. I tried to obliterate myself in meditation, self inquiry, and by being absorbed by spiritual teachings. I met a man named Charlie Hayes who encouraged a deep looking into the false centre. I fought tooth and nail against the simple message delivered by Charlie, Tony Parsons, John Wheeler, and many others. It seemed like there were two things happening: A false centre desperate to continue, and the unconditional lover, patiently waiting for "me" to give up.
A sort of earnestness took hold, and there was a sense of being willing to see this through to the end, even if it killed me. (And what do you know, it did!) It seemed like there was a turn around of my self, and I began to look into what I was, as I happened, moment by moment. There was a deep looking into direct experience, and an honesty and ruthless self authenticity to not let myself get away with anything. After meeting Tony Parsons in August, there was a collapse of the belief in the "me" concept as valid. I didn't find anything, because I was never real except as a character, in a dream (nightmare) called "my life." The true nature of what is revealed itself, to itself, as love, joy, peace, and stillness beyond all concepts. My email is firstname.lastname@example.org. Feel free to send a message.